In his kindness God called you to his eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ. After you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power is his forever and ever. Amen. -1 Peter 5:10-11

Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead be very glad - because these trials will make you partners with Christ in his suffering, and afterward you will have the wonderful joy of sharing his glory when it is displayed to all the world. -1 Peter 4: 12-13

And since we are his children, we will share his treasures - for everything God gives to his Son, Christ, is ours, too. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later. -Romans 8:17-18

I know there is a definite theme to the above verses…suffering. Not something anyone likes to talk about or think about.

Monday Nate had a doctor appointment in Memphis, and we heard the news that his tumor is starting to grow again. I have to tell you, I was shocked. I believed wholeheartedly that the Lord was healing my sweet husband’s brain and that one day when the time was right he would reach his hand down from heaven and snatch that tumor out of his brain. So, hearing this news was very hard for me. I don’t understand how this fits into our plan, I don’t understand why God would let this happen and at times I feel quite defeated. I feel nervous and sad and scared about this whole thing. I desperately don’t want Nate to have to go through anything else except for recovery. But under all those emotions and thoughts, I realized this week that there is also an undercurrent of joy.

To be clear, I don’t mean happiness. I am most definitely not happy about this.

I’ve heard people say several times that we should be joyful in the face of suffering. That never really made sense to me. What, fake being happy when terrible things are happening around you? But that’s not what it means!

In spite of the bad news we got, I am able to feel joyful because of one thing: God’s promise that He will end it one day. I’m really hoping and praying that God ends Nate’s suffering while we are still on this earth, and I still have faith and believe that He will. I believe God has wonderful plans for Nate’s life.

But there has been a nagging voice in my head, saying, “Everybody who has an illness or disability can have the strongest faith around that God will heal them. Sometimes He does, but sometimes He doesn’t. Sometimes it’s just a sad story. Sometimes tumors come back and they don’t get better and we are left wondering why.” I don’t know where these thoughts are coming from, but I think it’s the enemy trying to tempt me into giving up.

So, even though I know that not everyone is healed, and only God knows why He chooses to heal some and not others, I am still able to have peace and joy. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that whatever happens, it is all a part of God’s plan, and He is still holding us in the palm of his hand.

And, I know that one day all suffering will stop! Even if it doesn’t happen while we’re on this earth, one day I will understand, one day a tumor will not be in his brain and his speech will be fluent again. So in the face of suffering and anxiety, against all odds, God can still give you joy.

Love in Him,

Genie Alice

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