Romans 8:26-27

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

I’ve heard this verse countless times throughout my life…have you ever really thought about what it means?

I want to share a very personal moment I had with God about a year ago.

After Nate’s big surgery at M.D. Anderson, when all the bleeding and high intracranical pressure and all the craziness happened, we were praying continuously. Just a quick “brain” lesson…intracranial pressure (ICP) is considered “normal” at 20 or below, but truly normal is usually around 7. Nate’s ICP shot up over 50 and even 60 several times. I think the worst moment for me was after his ICP had been at about 54, one of the doctors said to me, “An ICP that high is not really, um, consistent with…life. Damage occurs at about 40, and over 50 is…(trail off and change the subject here.)” For about three days after his surgery he was in the operating room more often that not. We prayed for his life, that the machine was wrong and that his ICP had never really been that high, etc., etc. Nothing was working. He was getting worse, the doctors were totally stumped and his IV was FULL of 14 different medicines just trying to keep him alive.

You know what I did? Unfortunately, I said “Fine, God. My prayers aren’t working, so I’m going to stop now. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I can’t possibly pray any harder, I don’t know what you want from me, so I’m through.”

A few hours later (seemed like days) Nate had to go back to the OR for a fourth (or fifth?) time. Dr. Weinberg was going to try to reposition the drains that were keeping excess fluid and blood off his brain. So far, the drains just would not get where they needed to be, but he was going to try again.

This was in the wee hours of the morning, so the ICU was quiet. The rest of our family was in the hotel. I went into one of the small family rooms, shut the door and fell to my knees. I cried out, again, “Lord, I don’t know what to pray for any more. I just know that I was wrong, and we need You.” I stayed there for about an hour, just crying. Praying without really saying anything.

Then I got up and sat in one of the chairs, and about that time Dr. Weinberg came to the door. He was grinning from ear to ear and insisted on a high five. “The drain is in a perfect position, it’s flowing great, and his ICP is down to 6.”

YES! Things were still bad, but this was the first break we had.

I know, in that moment, the Holy Spirit was interceding with our God for me. I didn’t know what to pray for, what to ask for. But the Holy Spirit knew exactly what I needed. He pled my case for me.

Your prayers don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to say any magic words. Just talk to Him. And when you are stuck, and you are not sure what to ask for, know that the Holy Spirit approaches the Father for you. And His words are perfect.

In Him,

Genie Alice

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