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January 12, 2012
http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/a-family-learns-the-true-meaning-of-the-vow-in-sickness-and-in-health/2011/11/04/gIQAahyAdP_story.html
January 12, 2012
And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6
I, Genie Alice, take you Nate, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part.
Hi everyone! I read this story today (see link below) at the Washington Post website. Please take a minute to read it so that you will know what I’m talking about, if you have time.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ lifestyle/magazine/a-family-learns-the-true-meaning-of-the-vow-in-sickness-and-in-health/2011/11/04/gIQAahyAdP_story.html
It is a beautifully written story, and it moved me to tears today. But I have a lot more to say about it.
I know there are all kinds of things that can happen in a marriage, but brain injury/stroke is the one that’s affecting me, so that’s what I’m going to talk about.
Nate and I were married for six months when this tornado ripped through our lives. I’m embarrassed to admit how many people suggested to me that I could easily have our marriage anulled and that perhaps that’s what I should do. I want to be pretty bluntly honest with you right now. This life is NOT what I had dreamed of or hoped for. Nor is it what Nate hoped for. I feel this woman’s pain…it is really, really hard to lose your partner. He’s still with you, but everything is totally different. “Marriage” takes on a whole new meaning as a huge amount of responsibility is shifted onto you. Not only day to day responsibilities that you formerly shared, but also the role of caregiver, nurse, teacher, advocate, receptionist and therapist. And the person who you would have shared your stress with, you can’t - he’s under enough stress, after all, and probably could not handle yours too. What I’m trying to say, is I get it…I get that she desired to have a “real” husband - someone to lean on, to spend time with, to have a real conversation with. I don’t fault her for having those feelings. We are all mere humans.
But, when Nate and I took our wedding vows, there was no fine print. We didn’t say, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health. Unless you change. Unless something happens and you aren’t the person I thought you were going to be.
I have met and become friends with other caregivers of people with brain injury and stroke. And these people are fighting, every single day, to do what is best for their loved one. We research and read everything we can get our hands on, we try to cram as much therapy into a day as we can, we try to give them a fulfilling life, maximize their recovery, desperately grasp at anything we can to bring back any little brain cell possible. None of us are perfect, and some days are really hard. But you love him, and you promised him that you would be there. And on the good days, when you see a glimpse of who he used to be, and you see him get better and work hard, you love him even more and know that you’ll keep doing everything in your power to help him recover.
To be perfectly honest, this article was a slap in the face of these people. It glamourizes and praises a woman for breaking her vows. I know she is still in his life and caring for him. I commend her for at least that. It also can dash the hopes of those of us who are hoping and praying for total or near-total recovery…just because he’s not exactly who we was before…should we not still hope for that? Still pray for that and work toward it?
Disclaimer: I know that what I do and what others do is not the right decision for everyone. I hope anyone who is divorced and reading this does not think I am criticizing them…I am most definitely, definitely not. I can only speak for my own life, but I just felt like there had to be a rebuttal to this story.
When we get married, none of us end up being exactly the person our spouse thought we would be.
Life circumstances, illness, brain injury, Alzheimer’s, depression…so many things affect who we are ultimately. But there wasn’t any fine print. I promised I would be there, no matter what. So I, along with thousands of other caregivers and spouses, will keep fighting to hang on to our marriages, to encourage our loved ones, and roll with the punches. I’m so glad I stayed when some told me not to. In spite of some really hard days, Nate loves me and I love him, and God has used this to teach us so much and grow in Him.
I’m sorry this blog post was a bit of a rant. It all comes from love, I promise!!
Love in Him,
Genie Alice
December 11, 2011
“You didn’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I assure you, even if you had faith as small as a mustard seed you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” -Matthew 17:20
Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives; whoever seeks, finds; and the door will be opened to him who knocks. -Matthew 7:7-8
In like manner, I say to you: if on earth two of you are united in asking for anything, it will be granted to you by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered in my Name, I am there among them. -Matthew 18:19-20
Whatever you ask for in prayer full of faith, you will receive. -Matthew 21:22
Last Sunday, after church, I was thinking about the sermon, and God convicted me of something.
I don’t remember every detail of the sermon (sorry, Bro. Chad). :) But, I remember that a large part of it was on how God has the power to answer any prayer. He can still work miracles and solve any of our problems. At the end of the sermon, our preacher said something like… “So I know that some of you are thinking well, if God can answer any prayer, why hasn’t he answered mine?” Which was interesting, because at that moment that was exactly what was going through my mind. My prayers for healing for Nate are desperate, and I know there are so many others praying for him. Surely I have faith bigger than a mustard seed…so what’s the deal? He then told us that the first answer is that he doesn’t know - we all just have to have enough faith to know that we are just not going to understand every single thing that happens to us, and some things we will just not know until we get to heaven and meet God.
But then he told us that two possible reasons were 1. Disobedience and 2. Unbelief.
When I first heard that, I dismissed the “unbelief” part. Because I most definitely believe in God. I believe wholeheartedly that He is so powerful and can do anything we can imagine and so much more.
But later, this thought came into my mind. Yes, I do believe that God has the power to “snap his fingers” and heal Nate. I believe he could do that and so much more. But, and here’s the catch…do I believe that God will answer my prayers?
Sometimes I think something along these lines… “God I believe in you. I know you can heal Nate. Please, please, heal him.” But in the back of my head, I’m thinking, “But I know you probably won’t.” I know that sounds terrible! But really…I think it’s my way of protecting myself. If I don’t get totally sold on the idea that God is going to heal Nate, then it won’t hurt as much if it doesn’t happen.
I have to remember…I’m not dealing with a normal human being. You know, there are probably people in your life who don’t always follow through on their promises or what they say they will do. So you build in some protection by not TRULY expecting them to. You hope they will, you plan for them too, but you don’t let go and totally depend on it happening. But folks, God is not like us. I don’t have to protect myself against “what-ifs” with him.
So, my prayer has been for God to search my heart and take away any speck of unbelief that He finds. I want to trust Him with abandon…I want to give everything in my life to Him.
So when it comes to belief, I have three questions. 1. Do you believe in God? Do you believe He sent his only Son to die for you on the cross to save you? This is the most important one…you have to get this in order before any of the rest of it can follow. 2. Do you believe God is capable of answering your prayers? I promise you, our God is able to do so much more than we can even wrap our heads around. And, 3. Do you believe He will? Have you trusted him with everything? Or are you holding back just a little, to protect yourself? Maybe asking Him and having faith, but working on your own contigency plan, in case He doesn’t come through?
Heavenly Father, I’m asking you to search my heart. Find any unbelief or distrust I have in you and take it away. Make my faith complete. I want to trust you with every last part of my life. Amen.
Love in Him,
Genie Alice
November 30, 2011
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. -Psalm 46: 1
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. -Isaiah 40: 28-31
Hi everyone! I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. We had sooo much to be thankful for this year!
Something I’ve been thinking about lately is our strength as people. Throughout Nate’s illness and recovery, several people have complimented me on my “strength,” which I appreciate so much. (Although I get a little embarrassed - y’all have no idea how weak I really am!).
Something we hear a lot is that “God doesn’t put more on you than you can handle.” I think there’s a lot of truth to that, but it’s also a little misleading. Because on my own strength, there’s no way I could handle everything that’s happened over the past year and a half. Not even a small fraction of it!!
November 30, 2011
Anonymous asked: I went to a conference one time and the pastor said something one night that completely changed how I view tragedies like this... even Jesus wept when his friends were hurting and dying and when he saw suffering in the world. He could heal them, and sometime would, but he still cried because pain and suffering and death are not God's will. He can and does use them for good, but they are not of God. I loved that. It's helped me to think of God as grieving alongside me.
Thank you so much for sending me this…that is so awesome. And you explained it perfectly. :) Thank you!
October 19, 2011
Hi friends! Sorry about my lengthy absence. Most folks reading this know why, but here’s my “excuse.” Shortly after my last entry we found out I was 5 weeks pregnant. First shocked and panicked, then overjoyed! My first ob visit was at 10.5 weeks, and the ultrasound showed that the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks, and had no heartbeat. I had to have a d&c the next day. So I’ve just been focusing on putting one foot in front of the other recently. My natural reaction, and others around me, was “when is enough enough?” I also heard a lot of these: everything happens for a reason, it’s for the best, part of God’s plan etc. I know that these things are just something people say in difficult situations. But after the miscarriage my perspective has changed a bit. Think of how these things would sound to a non believer. So it’s God’s plan that my baby died, when our married life has been so fraught with ridiculous problems, when we were so excited about this joyful news? Even to a person with strong faith, much less a person with no faith, this can make our God sound very hateful and uncaring. I do believe with all my heart that He takes the bad things that happen and can use them for good.
August 18, 2011
In his kindness God called you to his eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ. After you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. All power is his forever and ever. Amen. -1 Peter 5:10-11
Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead be very glad - because these trials will make you partners with Christ in his suffering, and afterward you will have the wonderful joy of sharing his glory when it is displayed to all the world. -1 Peter 4: 12-13
And since we are his children, we will share his treasures - for everything God gives to his Son, Christ, is ours, too. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later. -Romans 8:17-18
I know there is a definite theme to the above verses…suffering. Not something anyone likes to talk about or think about.
August 11, 2011
You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. -1 Corinthians 6:20
Whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, you must do all for the glory of God. -1 Corinthians 10:31
You are the light of the world - like a city on a mountain, glowing in the night for all to see. Don’t hide your light under a basket! Instead, put it on a stand and let it shine for all. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly father.” -Matthew 5:14-16
Give to the Lord the glory he deserves! Bring your offering and come to worship him. Worship the Lord in all his holy splendor. Let all the earth tremble before him. The world is firmly established and cannot be shaken.” -1 Chronicles 16:29
I know God’s purpose for your life. :)
Whoa, before you freak out, stick with me. What I’m writing about tonight is difficult, because it’s something I’m still struggling with, learning about and praying about. It’s a little hard to share, honestly.
August 4, 2011
“Listen, Job; stop and consider the wonderful miracles of God! Do you know how God controls the storm and causes the lightning to flash forth from the clouds? Do you understand how He balances the clouds with wonderful perfection and skill?” -Job 37:14-16
“Golden splendor comes from the mountain of God. He is clothed in dazzling splendor. We cannot imagine the power of the Almighty, yet He is so just and merciful that He does not oppress us.” -Job 37: 22-23
“God thunders marvelously with His voice; He does great things that we cannot comprehend.” -Job 37:5
Wow…take a minute and think about God’s power. He is all-powerful…He created everything and can do so much more than we can even imagine. Really, I mean really think about that. He is our King - the most glorious, powerful, strong, marvelous King ever.
July 27, 2011
Romans 8:26-27
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
I’ve heard this verse countless times throughout my life…have you ever really thought about what it means?
I want to share a very personal moment I had with God about a year ago.
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